Gampy's time

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vlad01
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Re: Gampy's time

Post by vlad01 »

Gampy wrote:Wow, Vlad01, that concerns me that some may feel I am trivializing their situations ... That pains me, that is not my intent, in fact I would enjoy hearing others stories, heck I ain't greedy, most people just don't like to talk about their own health issues, well heck, who knows more about yourself then yourself!

All I really did this for is people have been picking up on my snide remarks about my EOL situation and wanted to know more, I didn't want to keep having to repeat it and thought this would be the best way to cover many at once ...

Heck if folks want to open up with their own issues, I AM ALL EARS!
I know I am not the only one that has health issues.

My stuff is mostly self inflicted and I deserve what I get by life's choices, definitely the emphysema is, and it's the root cause of my current situation. Some are due to other issues like crashes or results of Military Service.

Open up, I'd love to hear yours ...

-Enjoy


When I was in my late teens, 19 iirc. I got really sick, wasted away very quickly to high 40kg, basically bones and resembled a corps. They couldn't find a cause or anything wrong that was obvious. It may have been an extreme atypical stress reaction as I do recall having a bit of a crisis on what to do with my life at the end of school and facing pressure to work a job I didn't see a future in nor particularly liked. Or perhaps it was exposure to some toxin or something but I don't recall having handled anything at the time. I can't recall if they tested for toxins but do recall tons of blood tests for all kinds of stuff including various rare diseases, all negative.

They did find that I was not producing a few key hormones from my pituitary gland in my brain but there was no physical or neurological cause that could see, it just happened suddenly and abruptly.

I was put on a few years of HRT (hormone replacement therapy), and randomly it just started working normal again, just as abruptly it seemed. No one knows why it happened and why it even recovered as the prognosis was unknown and unlikely to resolve.

I had lingering muscular issues and fatigue for years after due to how severe the wastage was, but I was reasonable ok, very fit and active. I landed a very demanding high hours job with ridiculous amount of travel while still in this lingering recovery state.

This was not sustainable at all but I didn't know how to deal with it or the expectation as a man to work my ass off at my own detriment. Of course, I got unwell again but not the original illness. More like a complete physical and nervous breakdown. Again, symptoms weren't anything typical but a mix or various types of illnesses mixed together.

I had be diagnosed anything from depression to fibromyalgia and chronic fatigue syndrome, but nothing really quite fit the symptoms exactly.


Nothing helped, I was getting worse as my workload was not letting up. I voiced my concern but work didn't give a f**k.


"Specialists" thought it was depression and that my symptoms would get better with antidepressant treatment, this was a massive life altering mistake.

I quickly found out that these sorts of drugs I could not tolerate at all, it made me very ill, physically and psychologically. But the doctors kept trying different drugs, assuring me there will be one that worked. Each one made me sicker and sicker. Fast forward a few years, I tried one that didn't instantly make me lose my mind and body, but unaware it was adding to the fatigue gradually the longer I was on it, to the point I was depressed as hell, so weak and fatigued that I couldn't work. I lost my job, Illegally I might add. My employer sacked me based on the health issues which is highly illegal in Aus. But I was done at that point.

After several months off work, a psych gave me another drug on top of the one I was on. I was very reluctant and voiced my history of extreme intolerable. She persuaded me that it was safe and no to little side effects. So I tried it. After a few weeks I actually felt better and started getting on with life.

Got back to work, started to change my life around. But there was a dark side to this drug that was not disclosed to me. Firstly, it is extremely dangerous and has a cumulative neurotoxic property. Treatment should be a short as possible with careful tapering at the end. The psych basically tried to keep me on it indefinitely.

As neuro-adadaptation set in, weird side effects crept in that my regular doc nor the psych recognized, I went to various docs and it was actually a therapist who pinpointed my weird physical symptoms to the drug I was on, more so both but the dangerous one was primary the cause.

I decided enough was enough and consulted my regular doc and the psych about tapering off the main one first. I was not prepared nor was there any info on how to taper off this type of drug. (papers and methods became available after the fact, after it was too late).

I slowly reduced over 8 weeks. Recommendations was over 2-4 weeks. So I thought I was safe.

The withdrawals were bad! I have quit maybe 10-12 different drugs prior with 0 issues. This was hell! extreme agitation, dizziness, pain (burning like sensation, in my groin area), just feeling like I couldn't be around people for a few weeks.

This cleared up by 6 weeks, seemed like it was over and dr google said withdrawals typically last a max of 6 weeks. So I was good to go! I felt heaps better and clear and sharp for the first time in like 10 years.

But this burning pain kept coming and going. Finally it went after 8 weeks when suddenly it came back to bad I had to go to my doc. I got a few tests done and the pain was not casuses by anything obvious, surprise surprise!

Then a week later, my lower right leg and foot started feeling hot and uncomfortable, like a pinched nerve. I thought, oh that annoying but it should go away.

Another 24h later, my groin went numb pain got way! worse. WTF is going on!. Few hours more I am losing my mind, what's happening to me. My whole back starts hurting like crazy and my whole lower body went totally numb!

The next morning I went to my doc and he did a few tests but couldn't see anything obvious but suspected maybe something with my spinal cord. I was sent straight to ER. They did some tests but didn't conclude on anything, found nothing life threatening so sent me home with a possible sciatica.

Over the next few days my hands and lower face followed the same pain and numbness. I started having issues going to the toilet and being able to breath and swallow.

Then on the way to ER again, I had a "episode" of ??? Something I can't even describe. Like a panic attack but with the most extreme and agonizing electrical nerve pain and twitching you could imagine. I was screaming in pain and it felt like my hands and lower face were being electrocuted with 400V + of mains power for like 10 min straight, my partner pulled over and called the ambulance.

Straight to ER lol. It settled down by the time I got there but i was having very painful surges of electrical nerve pain every 5- 10 min in a 10 sec bursts and twitching included.


I could write for hours. I was in ER at least 5 times since 2021 to 2022 with all kinds of neurological extreme physical symptoms. Some included hallucinations and Parkinsons like symptoms.


I was tested for everything imaginable and everything came back perfect. What the issue was, is a delayed and extreme withdrawal from the drug that has causes long lasting at the cellular and probably genetic level of neurological alterations that led to very high drug dependency.


It's been over 2 years in recovery and re-instating the drug to re-taper to ludicrously low does to be able to get off it without dying. I finally got off the drug 4 months ago at 130th of the starting dose and still experienced extreme withdrawals which are persisting now but just manageable, I still struggle most days with burning nerve like pain and other symptoms.

I am still trying to get off the first drug in this cocktail with great difficulty. I believe it is the primary cause of the pain and tingling amongst others and is very hard to taper, a slight % in change can give me seizure activity in my brain.

I am not afraid to talk about this, I think everyone should be made aware on how damaging and toxic antidepressants and other classes of psych drugs can and often are. So many people have died or been made disabled from these drugs. It often can be worse than heroin or other street drugs, yet docs hand them out like candy.
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Re: Gampy's time

Post by Cincinnatus »

Gampy, props to you for facing mortality with acceptance and for your incredible honesty with owning responsibility for some of your health issues and your sometimes crass behavior. I also applaud your request for no sympathetic responses to your posts. I don't ask or want any sympathy from anyone for any reason. Life can be tough, and I've always just toughed it out. I have the most respect for those who do the same and don't whine about it looking for sympathy. You don't see that much anymore in society.
I wish I had met you in person during this life as I know we would have been friends out of mutual respect. I can be too honest i am told, but I'll never change. I prefer the truth over anything, and i accept mortality, though I'm not close yet that I'm aware of (54 and no health issues). I am glad to hear that you have a good wife, children and grandchildren. Life is an interesting experience, and when assessing it, hopefully you'll look back on only a few regrets, many smiles, and some proud moments of substantial accomplishments. Hope you get to read this. Thanks for your work here!
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Re: Gampy's time

Post by Cincinnatus »

Vlad01, I find your story interesting. I've always been apprehensive about prescription or over the counter meds because of when I was studying chemistry and biochemistry, and knowing that man made synthesized chemicals have caused many cancers and unknown illnesses. It's very unfortunate that society is so comfortable with prescription medication and many of the chemicals that are dangerous but disregarded as such. I also try to be careful around breathing fumes from cleaning parts, painting, welding, and even grinding or sanding, but I've been exposed to plenty. Certainly possible your were exposed to something, but also possible it was something else. Unfortunate that health care can't diagnose everything. Hope you can have good quality of life.
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Re: Gampy's time

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After basically doing a uni degree in pharmacology crash course in order to understand what was happening to me, I am very caucous of drugs and everyday chemicals.

I have developed many chemical sensitivities over the years, from things that are down played on the info sheets or many products.

It makes sense though, after all out bodies are 100% made from chemicals trying to maintain homeostasis until it loses the battle with entropy. So any other chemicals introduced can and often will interfere with that process.

Things have improved with my protracted withdrawal now that I have been off the worst offending drug for 4 months as of yesterday and things have settled down a lot. I just started the next reduction of the remaining drug tonight, an antidepressant. A reduction of only 14% of the current dose which is already about 1/30 of the original lowest dose and within 2.5 hours which is right now, I am feeling the withdrawals set in already. Random electric shock like tingling down my right side, I believe this is some mild partial seizures and flashes of light in my peripheral vision.
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Re: Gampy's time

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Arrrgg ... Just lost the post!

I have some of it saved, I'll redo it later, my son and his fam just got here.

So for now I'll just THANK YOU ALL!

-Enjoy
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Re: Gampy's time

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Hope you enjoy the visit from your Son and his family :)
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Re: Gampy's time

Post by Gampy »

35 years of catching up so it's a roller coaster for sure ... We do have lots of similarities, more so than our eldest son for sure, definitely has some traits of mine, pretty much like a chip off the ol' block!
He is mechanical, about to find out how much, he wants to put my truck back together, my eldest doesn't want to, I love my truck, it's like a comfy couch to drive.

Though now I'm regretting getting rid of the 80-86 front clip I had, I would really like to slip it on this truck and wind up with a half and half, or the best of both worlds, the look of the 80-86 yet the ride and comfort of the 93-94.
This truck is a 93-94 F350 Crew Cab Dually Diesel, I prefer the 80-86 Classic, but finding 80-86 metal is a tough one today especially that is as perfect as my 93-94 is. It is 100% rust free and has never seen salt, I went across country to buy it before I took sick, then tore it down to bare frame to paint it from bottom up, that is when the shit all started with me as I was bending over a cross member trying to get the rear gear pumpkin out I tore a hole in my diaphragm and esophagus, this allowed a little stomach fluid into my abdomen cavity, thus a surgery to fix it and that is when I lost the 70 lbs I'm missing and never been able to gain back, then I just kept getting sicker and sicker and it has now just all stacked up against me now with the emphysema.

Kids are awesome, but then why wouldn't they be, could any grandpa think other than of his grandbabies ... Not sure I could!

O-boy, the sun is out bright, maybe I'll have him dig out the Challenger thus it can get its legs stretched while I take them four a carnival ride!
It hasn't been out for two years or so I think, not really sure when the last time it was roaming the streets, I just know it's been too long since I've relieved myself of a set of Nitto's.
Guess I better call up the tire shop this AM and make sure they have a set on hand ...

Enough rambling ...

-Enjoy
Intelligence is in the details!

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If I was here to win a popularity contest, their would be no point, so I wouldn't be here!
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Re: Gampy's time

Post by Gampy »

Well, again I lost another post, I need to get better at saving it before I hit send, but I am so short term forgetful it's really hard to do, damn Morphine.
I had this story written much better and more exciting to read.

Any ways, I love the stark white petrified faces of the three kids and two adults as the Nitto's melted away ... Gampy had FUN FUN FUN as he melted the Nitto's away! (to the tune of "Fun, Fun, Fun" by The Beach Boys).

Scared myself pretty good a couple of times fighting over the oxygen bottles flying around in my lap and the fact that I am pretty darn weak in controlling the car, but no close calls or anything, not all total perfect control, but all was well, definitely had their blood flowing for sure.

Can't believe my left leg isn't sore this am from the clutch, didn't think I was going to be able to handle it, but I guess I'm stronger than I thought. I think my right foot hurts more than my left leg.
I have gained some weight, I'm up to 110.4 from 106.?, must be the Dexamethasone, that stuff has made me feel like million bux, I can eat without puking now, I'm not nausea constantly as I have been for years.

Only one close call with the local coppers, pulled up to flip a 540 and just started to let fly when a local popped up, I got lucky, I hadn't gone to far and was able to pull off a normal (but quick) 180 and pull on with out to much squeal, it is a small town/community, they all know me, know the car, so the BOLO went out straight away and the radio chatter was on (Scanner chatter).

Enough for today.

-Enjoy
Intelligence is in the details!

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If I was here to win a popularity contest, their would be no point, so I wouldn't be here!
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Re: Gampy's time

Post by antus »

:lol: :driving: well done!
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Re: Gampy's time

Post by Gampy »

To make it clear to those that know I have a special Challenger, I'm not thrashing the one that I've shown pictures of, that car does not get thrashed or even driven much.

I couldn't have it without having a thrasher mobile that is nothing special but fun. That is how people like me can keep a car like that stored and not driven, because I also have one I can abuse! If I didn't it would get abused!

-Enjoy
Intelligence is in the details!

It is easier not to learn bad habits, then it is to break them!

If I was here to win a popularity contest, their would be no point, so I wouldn't be here!
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