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Ecm only controls torque convertor lockup not gear changes.
Have a look at the TCC parameters in bin file and try adjusting them.

the $12 bin you are running will have the vr pulses per kilometer which is about 6000, you need to set it to 1250 to match the VN. with the ppk set to VR spec, , the ecu thinks you are doing 20kph at 100k so its not engaging tcc.

yeah i have it set on the vn 1250.5 sorted that out a while ago when sannerpro wasnt getting proper vehicle speed

ah sorry, didnt read back thru the thread
the TCC lockup flag should in scannerpro so check out your log and see if its engaging, that should tell you if its in the tune or a mechanical problem. in my car, tcc lockup stopped working when my T bar P/N switch buggered up, the ecu didnt see the car as being in D so never engaged it.

k will do that
another thing i have been meaning to ask about, the lean cruise AFR correction table.
If i want 16.0 when cruiseing down the hiway do i put 16.0 in that table or 1.3 if the other table is 14.7 in that cell?

You just put in what the amount of change you want , so yes ,for 16 : 1 put 1.3 if normal AFR is 14.7:1 .

what is the single/double fire option in the ose$12s bin flags

Just leave that flag as as per factory, its to do with how many times per engine cycle the injectors fire.